I, the p***s, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons.

1. I do phsycal labour 2. I work in great depths 3.

I have to go in head first 4. I do not get days off, weekends, or public holidays 5. I work in a damp environment 6. I work in high temperatures 7.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases Response From Management After assesing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for a raise based on the following criteria: 1. You never work 8 hours straight 2.

You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods 3. You do not always follow orders of the management team 4. You do not stay in your workstation area, often you visit other areas 5. You take many non-schedule breaks 6. You do not take initiative- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order for you to begin your work 7. You leave your workstation messy after your shift 8.

You don't always abserve OSHA measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits 9.

You don't wait till pension beforing retiring 10. You don't like to work double shifts 11. You have been observed entering and leaving the work place carring two suspicious bags