A guy is late for work so he's racing trying to get there.

While crossing over a bridge doing eighty a cop catches him on radar and pulls him over. The guy says, "Give me a break, I'm on my way to work, and I'm late." The cop says, "What do you do for a living?" The guy says, "I'm a rectum stretcher." The cop says. "A rectum stretcher? What does a rectum stretcher do?" The guy says, "Well I stretch rectums".

The cop asks "Well how do ya do that"? The guy replies "Well first I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, then a whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull their rectum farther and farther, until it's a full six feet across." The cop says, "What the hell do you do with a six foot a*****e?" The guy says, "Give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge."