MEN'S ADS- What they say vs. what they really mean! 40-ish.............52 and looking for 25-yr-old Athletic.............Watches a lot of sports on TV Aims to please...... But can't more than 2 minutes Average looking.......

Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back Educated............

Will patronize the shit out of you Good tongue action ...drools, speaks with a lisp Free Spirit......... Wants to bang your sister or mom Friendship first........ As long as friendship involves nookie Fun..................

Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking.........

Arrogant Very good looking.....Thick as 2 short planks Honest................

Pathological Liar Huggable............ Overweight, more body hair than a bear Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mamma's boy Mature..............

Older than your father Open-minded.......Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested Poet...................

Wrote ex-girlfriend's in a phone booth Sensitive...............

Cries at chick flicks Very sensitive.......Gay Spiritual...............

Got laid in a cemetery once Stable...................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted Thoughtful............

Says "Excuse me" when he farts Well-hung........

Nut sack is longer than d**k Lesthan0