Johnny's parents had the neighbors over for a card game. For two hours, Johnny was running around, pestering the guests, and yelling. Finally, Johnny's father grabbed Johnny by the hand and led him to his room.

A few minutes later, Johnny's father returned to the game without Johnny. After an hour, things were still quiet, not a peep from Johnny. Johnny's mother asked, "What did you you do to keep Johnny quiet all this time?" Johnny's father replied, "I taught him how to masturbate."