This guy was trying to lose weight but nothing was working. As he was walking down the road he sees a sign that reads "Gaurnteed weight loss results" so he goes into the office. The receptionists asks how much weight do you want to lose. The guy says 10 pounds and she hands him a key to a room. The guy opens the door and there is a beautiful red head naked on the bed with a sign around her neck that says if catch me you can screw me. A chase ensues and after 15 minutes she bolts out the door.

The guy leaves and sure enough he has lost 10 pounds. The next day he goes back and wants to lose 20 pounds. He unlocks the door and there is a blonde with the same sign.

He chases her for 25 minutes and she bolts out the door.

The next the guy goes back in and tells the receptionist that he wants to lose 100 pounds. She asked if he was sure and he said yes. This time when he unlocked the door he did not turn on the light but locked it back and slid the key underneath to be sure his prey did not get away. When he turned on the light there was 500 pound gorilla with a sign on his neck that read if I catch you I'm gonna f**k you.