1. You let you 14 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids. 2. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are " Gentlemen Start your engines" 3. You think that loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

4. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

5. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.